CONTEMPLATIVE LIFE

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    In 2005, I graduated from a Baptist seminary with a diploma in Pastoral Ministries. I was so happy, having only vocational training in college, and no official college degree. I was a pretty poor student in high school, as they did not recognize chasing girls, building hot rods, or partying as valid classroom curriculum. But I did manage to get a GED after quitting school at the end of my junior year. So, graduating from seminary was a pretty big deal to me. Unfortunately, I was touching only a small portion of the Christian faith. One thing that began to change the course of my life, was that a Catholic friend of mine had introduced me to the Desert Fathers. I began by reading The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. That one book really had a positive effect on my view of God. St. Teresa of Avila's The Interior Castle, and St. John of the Cross' Dark Night of the Soul are two others that influenced me greatly. I had, as a good Catholic, practiced the Lectio Divina and the Rosary on a regular basis. But in the Lectio Divina, I always had a hard time with contemplation. Then one day, I learned that contemplation was not something that I could just do of my own accord. 

    Contemplative prayer is an act of God upon you, as a grace. Now I may not be giving the actual CCC definition, so please, double check everything I say, and feel free to correct me in the comments. I always welcome correction, because the last thing I want to do is to mislead someone. But I remember when I began to move into a state of contemplative life, I felt as though the normal every day Catholic prayers were somehow not necessary or were mundane somehow. I even began wondering what was wrong with me. Was I living in a state of mortal sin? Did God remove His Holy Spirit from me? The answers came by seeking out competent teachers in the faith who have experienced this transformation into contemplative life. And as time went on, I learned that the more contemplative you become, the more the traditional forms of prayer become something you desire to participate in. But before the grace of contemplation was given to me, I had to go through a dark night of the soul. A period of time where I truly felt like God had left me. In fact, as it turned out, God had definitely not left me, He was in fact taking me into the darkest recesses of my soul, to root out all of the trash that hid in the corners of my heart and showed me how to flush out all of those spiritual and emotional wounds and replace them with His healing love. 

    If you are facing a time in your spiritual life when you feel like it has become dry or that your prayers are just bouncing off of the ceiling, then perhaps it is actually God leading you into a deeper form of prayer than you ever dreamed was possible. So, I would not give up if I were you, just ask God to show you what He wants from you. Ask Him to guide you in your spiritual growth, and He will. And always do your studies. (2 Timothy 2:15). For me, I did not feel a sudden shift into a contemplative state, but it was more of a subtle realization that came upon me. God is in everything, and through all things. But true to his form, that ol' devil still tries to make me doubt it, but once you recognize the schemes of our enemy for what they are, it is easier to overcome them. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7). God Bless, D. H.